Last year my sister gave birth to a perfect baby girl (I call her, pickle head) and just two days ago my husband's sister gave birth to a 1 lb. 3 oz. preemie baby girl. She is fighting for her life, and here I am, feeling like I am fighting with her. I have never been touched personally by premature birth. I have heard about it, seen it on TV, but never witnessed it. I feel like all I have seen or heard about is birth and babies lately. Truthfully, I have been drawn to it, which terrifies me even more. The thought of a baby, of pregnancy, oh it sends chills down my spine. How do women do it? How do they get up the nerve to push a watermelon through a lemon? I would be absolutely beside myself.
But, all of that brings me to the realization that my life just would not be as full without a little one in it. I can't imagine my life without my niece. It would seem so empty without her. I am not saying I want to pop out a bambino tomorrow, but the prospect isn't as scary. I think that women, not all women, but some women have to really think about having babies, the timing, how many, etc. I am one of those women. I am also one of those women who will need drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. Has anyone else already made their mind up about this? There are those who are destined to give birth naturally and there are those who know better. Ha, just kidding. Hey, if Snooki can give birth. I know I can!
What about you other women out there? Am I totally off point here?
First of all, the name melissa is amazing.
ReplyDeleteSecond, you should know I am terrified of commitment and next to marriage, well, having a baby was not on the list of what I want to do in my 20s. After we were married, I got the fever bad. Baby fever, that is. Tyler and I started trying and 8 months after we said "I do", we said "we're pregnant!"!
I have to say, I was scared. Needles? Would she be healthy? And as you put it: watermelon through a lemon scared the hell out of me. But here we are. Almost a year later to the day since we found out we were expecting and the joy simply can't be described.
Wait until you're ready. Because when you ARE ready, you'll experience the most exciting, joyous time in your life. :) Again, my words cannot do the experience justice.
Melissa is an awesome name!
DeleteThanks for sharing your story. I appreciate people sharing their experiences.
I got pregnant by accident and am now expecting my little one anyday now! (He's two days late, already!) I never wanted kids, but then once it happened, the thought of it wasn't so bad. Trust me, though, I am planning on getting lots and lots of drugs as well! Ouch!
ReplyDeleteI hope your niece gets stronger and healthier and is able to become a healthy little girl!
Chloe
http://rainbowsandhoneysuckle.blogspot.com/
Congratulations on your new little one! All the best in your delivery!
DeleteI am a mother of two, but I haven't ever birthed a baby. My kids (3 and 5) are really my step kids, but we don't use the "step" word. While I know that I want to have biological kids one day, the thought paralyzes me. It may sound selfish, but I'm not ready to give up the little bit of alone time I have with my husband and the my time with the boys. They are at such fun ages and I know that when we have another baby, it's going to add a whole new dynamic to our family. I'm so excited to have more children one day, but I'm just hoping and praying I'll know when that time is!
ReplyDeleteI say "step" children are just as much as the step parents as the parents. In a slightly different way, but still parenting all the same.
DeleteI have a baby and just let me tell you. She was an unplanned pregnancy, so my hubs and I were freaking the eff out. Seriously. But then 30 mins later, we were thrilled. We'd always wanted kids, so what if the timing wasn't our choosing? You'll think and over analyze, and then you'll get pregnant and realize that all of that thinking so doesn't matter. Motherhood is the scariest, craziest, most fun thing you'll ever do. And when you're ready, you'll know it. It won't be this big epiphany moment, but one day you'll wake up and be like "huh. I think I'm ready" ad then boom! You're done thinking. It's a different experience and journey for everyone, so when your time comes enjoy it. And I'm constantly thinking of your SIL ad niece! Don't let this scare you away from motherhood, and do the best you can to support your family as y'all deal with this. And don't let anyone talk you out of the drugs! They're amazing things! Like you said, some women can and the rest of us know better :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts. I am excited, scared, terrified, nervous to be a mother, but I think everyone feels that way.
DeleteThanks for sharing! :)
Awesome confession! Still praying for your niece! I have baby fever bad..and I think I will want drugs- Hey! It's good to be honest with yourself!
ReplyDeleteHappy Tuesday!
-Liz
Thanks for your prayers! I appreciate it. Bring on the drugs! haha
DeleteI am in the same boat you are--I'm recently married (after saying 'no, not getting married until I'm 30') and am getting major baby fever (after saying, 'okay, I'll get married, but no kids until after 30..'). I figure that when the time is right, we'll just know! Can't wait to see where your journey takes you! Love the note on the mug--so cute!
ReplyDeleteHa, nice to know someone else is in my boat! I do believe in right timing. Definitely!
DeleteI will pray for that beautiful baby. I have been judged SOO many times for not having children yet after 5 years of marriage. We have not been ready-ya know what I mean? I decided when I do have a baby-God-willing-I want to have it natural without any meds. However that could easily change-I have a very low pain tolerance. lol. I'm probably crazy!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your prayers! That means so much.
DeleteI understand the judging thing too. When we hit 2 years everyone was asking when we were going to have children, and at the time, I didn't know. I still am not 100% sure on the timing, but I am "open" to the idea now.
Thanks for your comment!
First, let me say that I am praying for the precious preemie. My girlfriend gave birth to a preemie 10 years ago. He stayed in the hospital for over 3 months. It was scary and it was heartbreaking. He was so tiny and helpless and my friend was so scared and sad. He is now a healthy, happy, active 10 year old handsome.
ReplyDeleteI have three kiddos and it is the GREATEST privilege to be their mama. I love them with all of my heart and I like them too!! Don't let anyone tell you that it's not ok to plan and prepare. God made you just the way He wanted you. He designed your sweet brain to plan and think things out. You rock it girl!!
I've been praying for your niece and will continue to do so. A friend from college had twins at 24 weeks, they were in the NICU for quite a while, they are now healthy toddlers. Prayer definitely goes a long way.
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby is definitely the biggest commitment you will ever make in your life. I've found being a Mom is the most difficult, challenging, stressful, aggravating, amazing, wonderful, joyous, blessing I could have ever had. Like the previous person said, it's a privilege. God blessed me with these two beautiful kids. It truly makes you understand what unconditional love means.
You and your husband have to make that decision despite other peoples opinions. I think no matter what you do, people are always going to judge. I was judged for getting pregnant before we were even married a year, then judged for my kids having a three year age difference instead of two years. Breastfeeding or formula feeding, vaccinating or non-vacinnating, circumcision or non-circumcision, people always have an opinion, and their way is always "best." Except they forget that whatever they decide is best for their family may not be what's best for another family. People are too quick to judge. As long as you have a happy healthy baby then you're doing a good job. You'll definitely know when the time is right. At the end of the day, it's all in God's timing. He knows just the right time for you and your husband to become parents. :)
Let me tell ya, I am TERRIFIED of child birth. Just thinking of it right now gets me anxious. I will be the first in line for drugs when the day comes! I'm hoping that the fear of the pain is actually worse than the actual pain!
ReplyDeletePrayers for your beautiful niece!